Why men lose respect in case of marriage breakdown ?

Just an afternoon thought, nothing more.  I have immense respect for stars like Aamir Khan and Dharmendra  (Both professionally and personally), But some time I wondered to see disrespect in some eyes for these legends just because of their respective divorces. Fans of these stars often encountered these accusations. My question is WHY and How ? How we can blindly blame them for their marriage breakdown ? And even if they are guilty , How we can assure that nothing was wrong from other side ? And even if on surface level, one person seems outright guilty, can’t we give a thought about some unavoidable circumstances ? Few questions : 

  • Q1 : How everyone blindly put blame on men ? 
  • Q2 : Even if there is guilt on man part, isn’t there possibility of equal mistake on woman part ?
  • Q3 : is there not any possibility of compatibility issue which lead to serious mental harassment ?
  • Q4 : Might be one partner is trying to adjust and adjustment is easy on his/her part, but isn’t possible that adjustment means a hell for another half ?
  • Q5 : Why men are considered as “He don’t respect women” in case of divorce ? Even after so much education why we don’t consider the possibility of any genuine reason behind the breakdown of marriage ?

 As long as I have seen Aamir and Dharmendra, I love both as a human being. Both are immensely emotional and extremely sensible, can cry on any human exploit and pain.

But again, these are celebrities. If there are thousands who don’t like them personally for their marriage glitches, there are another millions who like them and see their marriage breakdown as one painful part of their life, nothing guilt on their part. But what about common MAN ? In case of divorce he labeled as “Disrespectful towards women” type of guy who don’t carry emotions and sympathy towards women and “Use and throw” type guy.

When our society will educate ? and When we can understand the human emotions without partiality ? When we can understand that MAN and WOMAN are equally emotional and sensible. When we can understand that Marriage breakdown is painful process for not only women but equally for men ? When we get to know that women can be equally or more responsible for divorce ? When we educate about partners compatibility ?

Well there was purpose of this post. one reason behind this post (Dharam and Aamir are just taken as example). Two days back, one of my good friend committed suicide. Reason was his marriage glitches. He was under severe depression since first day of marriage and was unable to lead his life, tried many times for divorce, but unable to because of family and society pride issue. He faced so many abusive words and accusations from his family and girl’s family because of his raising voice for divorce every day.  And at last he commit suicide. As I personally know him, he was very nice guy and most kind hearted man I ever met. His biggest blunder of life was non-compatible marriage due to some circumstances. He suffered hell for 2 years and finally commit suicide. he could have been saved, if understood fairly by family and friends with open mind [Along with understanding that divorce is not always bad, and mandatory if problem is genuine (Even in case no fault of girl, but boy is suffering a lot due to many other reasons, problem is authentic) ].

Everyone is crying like anything from his home. Who was guilty in this case ? Boy , Girl or their families ? and suppose even if that boy was able to get separate, would not he had to face serious allegations (“Not respect women” , “Use and throw guy” , “Insensitive” “ cruel”) from society ? No one even think  for once that he might be suffering a lot in bad marriage and this separation might be good for both.

Seriously guys, we need to change our views and thought process towards human emotions and their behavior. You are enjoying good married life doesn’t mean everyone is gifted these blessings by GOD.  Marriage breakdown is not always a bad thing (In fact IMO in case of breakdown, there must be something horribly wrong and separation is always for good in those cases).  BUT PLEASE , SPARE MEN FROM ALL ALLEGATIONS. WHAT YOU THINK ?

— BollyBusiness


~ by Yakuza on September 3, 2010.

26 Responses to “Why men lose respect in case of marriage breakdown ?”

  1. dabangg

  2. A very great write up yakuza,i think the whole world thinks man treat woman just as sex objects,this viewpoint has lead to all this,even man can be as emotional,sensitive towards woman,i m myself a prime example i rspect women totally and am as emotional as one can get,my mother hates aamir for the same reason which i don’t find valid,

    • respect goes because these men were cheating even while married. dharmendra had a fake religion change and coverted to islam without divorcing his wife. amir has a child from a british journalist even as he was married. nobody disrespects a man or woman who gets out of a relationship and enters another. monogamous marriage is a contact and cheating is wat people, especially women look down upon.

      • I don’t support dharmendra for his act, But again we are not divine enough to put fingers on others. All i can say what dharam did was good in case if he was on verge of commit suicide.

  3. RESPECT EACH OTHERS FEELINGS AND LEAVE THE REST ON TIME IS THE BEST OPTION IN THIS CASE!

  4. @saurabh : even ur mother hate aamir for this reason . same here my mother also hates aamir for this reason

  5. “i think there r lots of men who treat woman just as sex objects”

    this is also true budddy bt one has to understand evrybody si not the same

    • Actually one need to understand that human emotions and behavior is not bound to any social norms. Though i am totally against marriage breakdown for small reasons, but if issue is big and specially if any one of them unable to lead the life due to bad marriage/relationship, in that case families should give them easy way for separation rather than putting pressure on already depressed person, which can lead to any disaster.

      • then dont enter the social institutions like marriage

        • No one enter to marriage for divorce. Danish, we are enjoying good married life doesn’t mean everyone is blessed with same. And bad marriage is hell for sensitive people. There are few who survive the bad relation somehow, but there are few others for whom staying in bad relation means end of life. No two human beings borrow similar emotions and behavior, it require experience and patience to understand the psyche of someone. I don’t blame you if you do not understand the human feelings, social norms are not final stamp of life, I know my friends (gujjar and Jat) who support recent honor killings. Though i argue with them for a while, but quickly i realize it’s not easy to change the mind feed. You need to be level headed person to understand grey shades of life.

          • Yakuza, very well explained. Being a girl i conqer with you completely. We need to human first rather than blindly follow pseudo social norms, and no stubborn can easily understand this. This is very well written piece and require wider reach than just a blog.

  6. ya manish i m sure it wld be very common,many ladies wld be hating aamir for this,i think even women can be nasty and cunning,which is not considered,every man is indeed not the same,even men can be emotionally sensitive i say even more than women sometimes.

    • you knw when a man gets emotionally attached to women no other feeling or emotional attachment can be stronger than that howevr even if the girl is emotionally attached , she might get out of th erelation for smallest of reason . i have been at the recieving end twice 😦 howver i them moved to other end as well

      • Very true Manish. A girl can easily switchover to another boy, no matter how strong was her previous relation. But a boy, once commited by heart, never able to truly love someone else. Even i am victim of broken heart … 😦

        • same is the case here yakuza,i have not been over from 5 years with my broken heart,i have still not gone for anyone else i think i am so much emotionally attached that i may not get over that probably in whole life.i think i may not be able to love even my future wife that much,i think when a man falls in love with his pure heart there is no stronger emotion than that one,i can tell that as i m myself one of them

        • ya sure mr devdas. men have many women on the side even as they are into a committed monogamous relationship or marriage. yakuza i thot u were only a trade info manipulator but u seem to be an irrational MCp alos. sorry for the personal comments but the issue we are discussing here is not exactly trade.

  7. @yakuza-why u r nt giving any BO updates???plz tell us abt d budget of dabangg,its dist. Price,nmbr of prints etc….waiting 4 ur reply buddy

  8. yakuza sorry off the topic,u can see this post by a blind srk fan and big b,aamir hater at IFM,he is asking ur crediblity,please post 82 FI verdicts page here so that mouth of these haters can be shut once and for all
    http://www.bollywoodhungama.com/forum/read.php?10,2677582

    • Interesting i see. Well let them enjoy in their world.

      But on a QUICK NOTE i can give you link where BOI in 2004 has released Film information scan of Deewar which was proof of their claim (6.5 Crore earning).

      http://web.archive.org/web/20040909063208/www.boxofficeindia.com/deewar1975.htm

      Now BOI has degraded the figures and remove the scans. In their own words of BOI (If you check in bottom of above link) :

      “We will soon start to update figures for old films.It is very easy to throw any sort of numbers for older films as it is hard for people to cross check.That is when we update it will be supported by scans as above. The classifications for every year from 1970 will be scanned from trade journals and put up on site.The BoxOfficeIndia classifications will differ because we give the hit tag at 75% recovery while the trade is much more stricter and gives it at 100% recovery.”

      But now even BOI is publishing numbers without any proof (And even they have removed few scans which they uploaded earlier).

      As i have claimed 1982 numbers are from film information as there is no other source available (Film information is published since 1973). I will publish all scans very soon, no worries.

  9. yakuza this right even posts in BB i think though very rarely ,he is a total headache,he even has few fake ID’s and praises himself through different ID’,me and bigfun love to laugh at him,if u wld put up FI scans hopefully in few days,he wld be made quite,he totally supports BOI inspite of me and bigfun exposing BOI regularly at IFM,i cldn’t even understand y in this topic ,he said yakuza expoosed,how r u exposed in any sense it is beyond me

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